Don't Be Addicted to Drama

Yesterday I spoke to a group of college students about love. Not romance or chemistry, but love. And I told them something that many had never considered: what many consider to be love is actually an addiction to unhealthiness.

Some mistake intensity, high emotion, and chaos for love. But it's not. It's the body's defense mechanism, sending chemicals to protect oneself. Love doesn't require protection. It actually allows the walls to come down because we feel safe.

Yet when we confuse intensity for love, then someone who is actually healthy might feel boring.

This week on the Podcast, Blaine, Adrienne, and I look at a couple who have confused the two. Unknowingly, they have turned fighting into their main form of connection. Their relationship is passionate, but it's also unnecessarily stressful to them and others.

Thankfully, there is a way to keep the passion but drop the conflict.

When Fighting Is the Only Way You Feel Close

Podcast Episode · Change The Odds · February 18 · 33m

podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/change-the-odds/id1724097706?i=1000750322733

For the past seven weeks, I've been teaching Love Styles. It continues to amaze me how this book is helping people.

It's given language to people who have struggled to understand their experience.
It's providing explanations for past relationships that have struggled or failed.
It's shown individuals who want to be married what they may be doing to prevent connection.
It's illustrated for couples their primary fight pattern and how to communicate better.
If you haven't left a review yet, go here to do so.

We had such a great time at our Palm Springs retreat that many have asked when our next weekend getaway is. Watch this email as we are about to drop information at Napa, Truckee, and maybe even Hawaii.

Before you go, a quick question about intensity and intimacy.

When things feel calm in your life/relationship, do you:

Feel peaceful and grateful

Worry about when the trouble will come

Feel bored

Feel uneasy

When Fighting Is the Only Way You Feel Closer (EP83)

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