What's Following You Into 2026?

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Before you step into 2026, there's one question worth asking:

What are you carrying that you don't realize you packed?

We love the idea of a fresh start. New year. New goals. New habits. New hope. There's something deeply human about believing the calendar can reset our lives.

But here's the quiet truth most of us learn the hard way:
You don't leave things behind just because the year changes.

Some things come with you. (Watch my conversation with Mark Clark HERE)

In fact, most of what shapes your future is already in your emotional carry-on.

I've said it this way before, and I'll say it again because it keeps proving true:
"Your unresolved past often goes by a different name; you call it the present."

What We Carry (Without Knowing It)

Most people aren't intentionally dragging their past into the future. They're not trying to repeat old patterns, relive old wounds, or recreate old conflicts. They just haven't slowed down long enough to understand what's actually influencing them.

So instead, it shows up quietly:

In how quickly you react
In what feels threatening
In what feels comforting
In how close is too close
In how distance feels safer than connection

You promise yourself, This year I'll be different.
And you mean it.

But when stress rises, or conflict shows up, or intimacy feels risky…your autopilot takes over.

Why Resolutions Rarely Touch the Real Issue

Most resolutions aim at behavior. But most of our struggles come from patterns.

Patterns formed early and were reinfornced often. They once helped us survive, but now they prevent us from flourishing.

You don't break those patterns by trying harder.
You change them by identifying them, understanding them, and learning new ways to relate.

Until then, you don't really move forward; you repeat. The names might change, but how we relate to others stays the same.

Different year. Same reactions.

Why I Wrote Love Styles

I didn't write Love Styles because I had it all figured out. I wrote it because I realized how much of my present was being shaped by a past I hadn't fully understood.

I grew up with parents who loved me deeply, but struggled to love each other well. Their marriage ended in divorce. At the time, I didn't have language for what that taught me about love, conflict, closeness, or safety.

But years later, I could see it.

I noticed how I reacted under pressure.
How conflict felt threatening.
How connection sometimes felt complicated.

I wasn't reliving my childhood, but I was responding from it.

That's what Love Styles is about: understanding why you love the way you do, so you're no longer ruled by patterns you didn't choose.

Awareness Changes What You Carry

Love Styles isn't about blaming parents. Think explanations more than excuses.

It's about clarity.

When you understand your love style—how you learned to give and receive love—you gain the ability to:

Pause instead of react
Respond instead of protect
Choose differently under stress
Build connection without losing yourself

You don't erase the past.
You settle it.

And settled things no longer demand your attention. They stop controlling your present.

Now Available in Audio

I also know how busy life is. That's why I'm excited to share that Love Styles is now available as an audiobook.

Whether you're commuting, walking, driving, or just needing space to think, the audio version lets you do this work in real life, where patterns actually show up.

You don't need another resolution.
You need understanding.

Don't Pack What You Don't Have To

You don't have to drag old patterns into a new year.
You don't have to keep carrying what you never chose.
And you don't have to repeat what you're finally ready to understand.

Before you step into 2026, ask yourself:

What if the most important thing I do this year isn't adding something new, but finally unpacking what I've been carrying?

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